I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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