you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
