I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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