You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
