guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My breath smells like gin and sadness
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
