Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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