if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize