I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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