He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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