do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
