The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
