Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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