yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
