Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
