About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize