Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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