nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
