i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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