Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
