I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
