I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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