i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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