fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
