i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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