Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
