Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
