Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize