i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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