if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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