Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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