Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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