i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
