i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize