if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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