I want to have your abortion
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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