Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
