Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
