Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
