i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
