i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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