it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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