yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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