Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
