I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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