If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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