it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
