No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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