If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
