Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You ate ashes out of my bong
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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