u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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