Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
