Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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