We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
