yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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