you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize