Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
