Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
