It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
