okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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