Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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