see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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