She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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