Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
