You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
