winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
