I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i now understand why vodka
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
