Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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