Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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