I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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